When Life Hands You Lemons……
Jodi Seidler is the founder of the single parent site MakingLemonade.com and the author of “”Making Lemonade: A Guidebook for Life After Divorce,” and “55 Things Every Divorcing Mom Should Know!” Her advice has also made it to TV talk shows, such as: “Inside Edition”and “Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus.” Her e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org.
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Jodi overcame the shock of her divorce by learning to be the best mom she could be. Now as an accredited expert in single parenting, she shares her knowledge with other parents.
via Jodi’s Story: Single-Handedly Raising My Son – YouTube.
Jodi Seidler is an extraordinary woman who uses her life experiences to benefit others. Her book, Making Lemonade: A Guidebook for Life after Divorce is a must read for anyone making this transition! Jodi helped me thru my divorce and is featured in my book Now I See the Moon.
What are some tips for dating after divorce?
When it comes to dating after divorce, it’s really important that you have gone through your anger, resentment, and all your wounds before you date, because otherwise you’re going to end up on dates where you find yourself talking about your ex, and custody. It’s the most major dating no-no. It’s really important to give yourself some time to heal before you dip your toe in the dating water.
via What are some tips for dating after divorce? Single Parenting And Dating (Single Parenting).
Ask a room full of single moms if they’ve ever felt the same way as you do right now and all the hands in the room will shoot up. I have a few ideas for you. Keep an “angry” journal. Get those emotions out of your body and on to paper. This way you can see what is really at the root of your anger — maybe fear or exhaustion. By writing it down and getting it out of your body it also makes room for some joy and love for your children to come in.
via Single Parents: Finding Support.
Benefits to being a single parent…
I think there are a lot of benefits to being a single parent. I mean I’ve been one for a long time but I would say that you become so strong because you are both mother and father in a lot of ways, without losing your femininity. But you gain this strength that you can pretty much do anything. And as long as you have the support so that you feel you like you are not alone – I can’t emphasize that enough – there is just this strong “I am woman, hear me roar” kind of thing that happens. And the best thing is you can find a lot of joy in being a single parent as well. It’s not just the old “woe is me”, like in the olden days when there weren’t as many single parent households.
via Single Parent Basics (Single Parenting).
Need Help? You’re Not Alone
In today’s world, fathers are getting their share of custody after divorce, and those numbers are growing. I understand it can be scary or daunting for dads, juggling work, parenting and perhaps even a social life. For all the single dads out there — there’s no doubt you are doing a great job! The most important thing you have to do is love your child, after that it’s just gravy.
There are places you can go for support and Web sites to visit that are for single dads. If you have a church or synagogue, community center, or local park, they all might have or can start a single parent support group. Approximately, 62 percent of all parents are single, so your universe is wider than you think. I suggest you begin by typing in “single fathers” in a search engine, and go visit one of those sites.
via divorce360.com | Calling All Single Dads.
Jodi Seidler knows how to help the newly single get beyond divorce and date as a single parent.
She’s the founder of the leading single parent information site MakingLemonade.com and the author of 55 Things Every Divorcing Mom Should Know!
Jodi not only has extensive experience writing, speaking and coaching single parents but is also extensively experienced in online dating with many sites. In fact, she was recently chosen to shoot a commercial for e-harmony.com.
Jodi’s “rants” and articles have been profiled on hundreds of websites and publications, including: Single Parents Magazine, Child Magazine, USA Today, The LA Times, and The Milwaukee Journal; she has been crowned an expert in the field of single parenting and in the art of reinvention.
via E-dating Experts | Finding your love on the internet.
Overcome the Fear of Marriage
With divorce rates being what they are and people living well into their 70s, 80s, and 90s, tying the knot might seem more intimidating than ever. However, by understanding what marriage entails and clarifying your expectations, you can overcome your nuptial-phobia and make an informed decision on whether or not to get married.
via Wiki How to Overcome the Fear of Marriage.
Is the grass ever greener?
We’ve all done it…like a kid in a candy store. Post divorce or break-up or just experimenting with the law of attraction — we sometimes over-fill our “dance cards’, especially when we have been out of the dating picture for a while.
How many is TOO many..how much date juggling can one do before they can find their own balance (like riding a bicycle). Everyone is different, but the bottom line is everyone is hopefully looking for “the one”… However, what about those who always contemplate the grass-is-always-greener mentality, what if one particular person is never enough. Those with a three page checklist, always looking for a better, younger, richer, prettier, more handsome model.
When do you cry UNCLE and let someone really grow on and with you? Why do we change partners before the dance even ends?
What is YOUR INTIMACY INDEX formula? In other words, take the age you are right now AND divide it by the average amount of time you’ve spent with someone else. A good gauge for availability perhaps?
What do YOU think? DO TELL!
Plan a Romantic Evening on a Budget
Finding something new and interesting to do for your date night can be a challenge. It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut or to avoid date night altogether because you think you need to spend a fortune to have a good time. This simply isn’t true. Follow this plan for your next romantic evening, and both your sweetie and your wallet will thank you!
via How to Plan a Romantic Evening on a Budget – wikiHow.
How do you know if someone likes you, wants to date more often, wants to be exclusive, feels the same way you do? Ask the person… with tact.
via How to Tactfully Ask Emotional Questions.
It’s a bit of a running joke sometimes, about the man in your life needing more “space”, but in reality, it’s no joke at all. Any relationship in which two people behave in an overly dependent manner can feel oppressive or smothering for either party, and indicates a need for one or both people to learn to cope apart as well as together.
A healthy relationship will always benefit from giving each other space, and never more so than when you feel that your boyfriend is champing at the bit to be “released” a little more often to just be by himself or to spend time with his mates. If you’re finding it challenging to let go even though the relationship’s becoming a bit too much to handle, it’s a sign that now more than ever, you do need to learn to give him space. Here are some suggestions to help you. Give him space enough to miss you but never leave it long enough for him too forget and stop needing you !
via How to Give Your Boyfriend Space: 10 steps (with video).
Beginning a new relationship can be scary, but treading the murky waters between friendship and love can be even scarier. While falling for a close friend is a common and natural occurrence in today’s society, it can be a difficult change to make.
Many people give up on the idea of taking a close friendship to a romantic level because of the fear of losing the friendship altogether. If becoming involved with a friend seems a daunting task, here’s a guide to help you along the way.
via How to Start Dating a Friend | eHow.com.
We’ve all heard success stories of online dating. According to a recent study by Match.com, a sixth of marriages now begin via online dating. If the numbers are so promising, why does online dating feel like an energy suck? As my friend Ario says, “Online dating induces ADD.” With so many people to choose from, online dating encourages a consumer mentality that turns people into products. We are on the hunt for spark. And click, there’s someone hotter, smarter, sexier.
via Sasha Cagen: Old-Fashioned Matchmaking Meets Facebook.
Very few people can understand the challenges that accompany becoming a step parent. Step-families, also called blended families, are more on the rise than people may realize. The main focus to any successful step-family is the security and happiness of the children involved. The bond between step parent and step child is not automatic. It is a relationship like any other that needs attention, nurturing and most importantly, time to grow.
The first thing to be considered when it comes to your step child is the fact that this adjustment may take a while. Especially when you have a slightly older child to deal with, there will most likely be feelings of anger, resentment or confusion. Open the lines of communication with your step child. Explain that you are not there to replace their natural parent and that you are glad to be a part of the new family that has been created. If the child is considerably younger, there may not be a whole lot of understanding on their part as to what is taking place but communication is still the key.
via Bonding with stepchildren: It’s not impossible – Henderson Step Parenting | Examiner.com.
Your idea of dating is probably filled with dinners, movies, museums and uninterrupted conversation. The chance to get out of the house with your partner and share an intimate dinner for two or taking a lazy afternoon stroll are just a few enticing dating options for busy adults. Walking hand in hand as you’re fighting for space in a crowded hallway while carrying multiple books, stopping every 10 feet to chat with a friend or get the inside track on an upcoming test definitely does not seem to classify as any type of romantic interlude – let alone a date.
via When Teens Start Dating | Parenting | Disney Family.com.
It may sound unusual, but it’s true: I’m afraid of commitment. Just the idea of being part of a committed relationship and all its “trappings” (i.e., moving out to the suburbs, getting married, and becoming dependent on another person in my day-to-day life) — makes me shudder. The possibility of being consumed by my passion for someone else? Absolutely terrifying.
Why is it that making a lifelong commitment, something Hollywood and the media have ingrained into women to be the ultimate goal of relationships, feels so frightening for some of us? Why does building a strong and impenetrable wall around our hearts feel so much safer than appearing vulnerable or needy to the opposite sex? It may be counter-dependency.
Most people are familiar with co-dependent couples’ clinginess and revolving caretaker roles in relationships, thanks to talk shows, self-help books and the like. Counter-dependents, however, radiate aloofness and are driven to project an image that makes them seem wholly self-sustained. While most of us have probably never even heard of counter-dependency, in reality, it affects a large swath of society, according to Dr. Janae B. Weinhold, counselor and co-author of Counter-Dependency: the Flight from Intimacy and her co-author and psychologist husband, Dr. Barry K. Weinhold.
via Are You Afraid Of Commitment? | Happen Magazine.
How should a single mom talk about sex and puberty with her son?
The good news about fifth grade these days is that they have sex education classes, so a single mom doesn’t necessarily have to sit down with her son and talk about sex. When I did, my son was like, “I probably know more than you, because in fifth grade they taught me everything”. Schools do a good job. If you find that you need to talk about it before fifth grade, or maybe he heard things from a sibling, or a friend that aren’t right, or you need to clarify, you can do that either with you and him or maybe get the Dad involved, if that is a possibility, and all you guys talk about it.
Watch our video Single Mums: How To Talk About Sex And Puberty With Your Son For more how to videos, expert advice, instructional tips, tricks, guides and tutorials on this subject, visit the topic Single Parenting.
Jodi Seidler is the founder of MakingLemonade.com, the leading single parent resource on the Internet. Most importantly, Jodi the proud single mom of Sam.
Are you in love with your partner, but fear commitment? Do you dread the thought of being with them the rest of your life? Here’s how you can help yourself change your views.
via How to Get Over Fear of Commitment – wikiHow.
For anyone who is considering marrying someone who already has children, movies like “Stepmom” can be terrifying. Also, knowing that the children may have visions of a “Cinderella” situation looming in their heads may not make you feel very welcome. There are a few guidelines, however, that can help. As someone who has gone through three step-parents myself, I have been through just about every issue possible with regard to merging families. The keys to having a smooth integration into the family vary depending on the age of the child. Younger children are more willing to accept a step-parent because they haven’t gotten to their “independent” phase yet. For pre-teens and teenagers, however, it is easy to view the step-parent as just one more authority figure in the way of their freedom.
Here are some tips to help.
via How to Be a Step-Parent: Advice From a Step-Child – Associated Content from Yahoo! – associatedcontent.com.
Maybe it’s a significant other, friend, or other person you regularly see or spend time with but you’re unsure if your relationship or friendship with them is for the right reasons, or whether it’s just because you’re feeling lonely. If you feel that this applies to you, here are some steps for figuring out whether or not you genuinely like spending time with this person or only do so because you don’t want to be lonely.
via How to Know if You Like Someone or if You’re Just Lonely – wikiHow.
Are you in your 20’s or 30’s and wondering what you’re doing at a bar? Are you entering “relationships” and quickly wondering “where is this going?” Are you feeling like you can’t let someone get too close or too far away so you’re always feeling a sense of emotional limbo?
The good news is you’re not alone.
This generation is facing a dilemma that those before it haven’t. Your parents and grandparents may have had a different view about dating. Many were prepared and predisposed to date so they could find a spouse. They dated someone as long as they were spousal material and then dumped unsuitable candidates. Many didn’t date just for fun, but were actually task-marriage oriented. Getting married in your early twenties, right after college, was commonplace and even desirable back in the day. Back then, some were fraught with grief and worry if they reached their mid 20′s without a significant love-relationship.
via Do You Know Where Your Relationship Is Going? | Psychology Today.
Relationships go through cycles, and most people have doubts from time to time wondering whether they are with the right person, on the right path and doing the right thing. Here are some ways to know.
via How to Know if You’re in the Right Relationship | eHow.com.
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of size, gender, or strength, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars.
Noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love. If you recognize yourself or someone you know in the following warning signs and descriptions of abuse, don’t hesitate to reach out. There is help available.
via Domestic Violence and Abuse: Signs of Abuse and Abusive Relationships.
Ashley Shinn didn’t know she was in a relationship until asked to confirm it in a message from Facebook.
The 22-year-old University of North Texas senior received a Facebook request from her new beau after a kiss.
“We didn’t talk about it, then we kissed and then that night he sent me that request,” on Facebook, she said. “Without discussing it. I was like, ‘Oh, OK, I guess.'”
Shinn is one of more than 67 million Facebook users. The social networking Web site has redefined privacy online by allowing users to create profiles with photos, quotes, personal information and relationship statuses.
via How do you know your love is real? Check Facebook – CNN.
When someone gets out of a relationship, there’s the question of when they’re ready to move on. If they move on too quickly, they end up in a “rebound relationship” that almost never works out. But everyone is different, and there’s no way to say how much time a person needs to heal after a relationship is over; so here is how to tell if you’ve landed in a rebound relationship, if you’re the person who recently broke up, or you’re interested in someone who recently got out of a relationship.
via How to Know if You’re in a Rebound Relationship – wikiHow.
As your relationship with a new person in your life has developed, you find your old friends falling away, while family members remark on how you don’t seem like yourself. Are you losing yourself to an odd, and ultimately destructive, relationship? Before you can regain your individuality and strength, you’ll need to determine whether the relationship is taking something away, and, if so, you must put an end to the destructive cycle. While the steps are directed towards romantic relationships, they do apply to any kind of relationship.
via How to Recognize a Manipulative or Controlling Relationship – wikiHow.
Become an Inspiration
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Divorce and Child Custody: It’s About the Child
If you are at the point in your relationship where you are considering divorce, you are not alone. Unfortunately, over 20% of first marriages will end in divorce within 5 years, while almost half of all marriages will end by the couple’s 20 year anniversary. While you may not have expected for your marriage to falter when you took your wedding vows, the fact is that something in your relationship has brought you to a place where divorce is has become a reality.
A divorce can be an emotional and challenging time for both spouses, especially when one party isn’t interested in ending the marriage. Issues of marital property and assets can further complicate the matter, and disagreements regarding these matters can cause significant conflict between spouses. However, when you and your spouse have children together, there are a variety of other factors to take into consideration during your divorce.
When children are involved, a divorce can become especially complicated. The dynamics of the separation change when child custody issues are in play, and cutting all ties with your former spouse simply isn’t possible. Despite your desire to move on, having a child in common with your husband or wife means that you will always have a part in each other’s life. It is important to keep the conflict that you and your spouse are dealing with away from your children, as ongoing parental conflict can increase your child’s risk of social and psychological problems as a result of your divorce.
Jodi Seidler Speaks About Divorce
Because of her passion, Jodi Seidler has been profiled on hundreds of Web sites and dozens of publications, including: Single Parents Magazine, Child Magazine, USA Today, The LA Times and The Milwaukee Journal; She’s carried the Making Lemonade message to her own radio show, as well as national radio and TV talk shows, such as: “Inside Edition”, “Men are From Mars, Women are from Venus”, “Berman and Berman: For Women Only”, UPN, Channel 13 News, “The Other Half”, “From Inspiration to Realization”, CBS Evening News, KCAL News, and The New York Times. Jodi Seidler knows how to help the newly single get beyond divorce and date as a single parent.
Contact Jodi to speak at your group or event.